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October News Round-Up

I’ve decided, since my life is too boring to fill a blog on its own, that I’m going to do (at least) monthly posts about interesting pieces of news that I’ve found throughout the month, with commentary on each.

October 5 – Police: Girl, 13, rode in cardboard box atop van. This story is just plain dumb. It’s along the same vein as the story about the kid who stood up through the sunroof to take a trip around a parking lot while being held onto by his mother/grandmother/aunt/female relative. EXCEPT – this trip was down a highway. Why the cardboard box couldn’t be collapsed is anybody’s guess. Why they needed a cardboard box that couldn’t fit into a minivan is anybody’s guess, too. Throw another one into the “just plain stupid” category…

October 6 – Lung stolen from exhibit of human cadavers. If you needed a lung that badly, I hope you’re not willing to do the surgery yourself…with a non-working organ. I guess it could make a pretty nice mantle piece. Definite conversation starter… “Gee, Harry, when you said you were coughing up a lung, I didn’t realize you meant literally!”

October 12 – Cops: Intoxicated 21-year-old steals ambulance. This one is pretty self-explanatory. Drunk guy thinks it’d be a good idea to swipe an ambulance to get home. Sometimes you just have to use the emergency services to get home after a good night of heavy drinking.

October 13 – Man found asleep in closet … with a corpse. This is pretty self-explanatory too. What the headline doesn’t tell you is that they were both alive when they went into the closet of the vacant home. The problem with this story is that it’s so bizarre it’s funny, but at the same time sad because they were stupid enough to do life-threatening doses of narcotics.

October 14 – ‘Lottery winner’ causes riot at Ohio coat store. She’s just loony enough to incite a riot at a coat store, but the patrons really should have been after the woman, not the coat store. I’m sure they could’ve figured out who she was & hunt her down right quick. I can only imagine how she’ll be treated once she gets out of her punishment.

October 14 – Deputies say man tried to eat pot after arrest. I’m not quite sure how this guy figured this would help, but apparently when you’re under the influence of drugs, out of sight really is out of mind, for everyone. Until the blood tests come back, anyway.

October 14 – Facebook ‘poking’: So annoying, it’s criminal. I’ve always despised this “feature” of Facebook. But this specific instance is because the idiot’s got a restraining order and technically broke it by poking the girl’s profile.

October 15 – Rare disease turns 3-year-old’s muscles to bone. It’s actually called Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva. Every bump, every bruise, every muscle strain in his body turns his muscle to a bone-like substance. They’re doing the best they can to let him act like a little boy should, but worry about what will happen in the future.

October 22 – Police: Dad ran over ‘Westernized’ daughter. If you’re living in a “Western” society, shouldn’t you expect your daughter to become a little “Westernized”? The story doesn’t explain how the daughter was becoming “westernized” but I would guess it’s probably not just wearing Levis…

October 27 – Church of Scientology guilty of fraud in France. It’s a shame we can’t catch them in the act here. That’s my only comment on this story.

So that’s all for October.

I’ll see you at the end of November, if not before!

Always, Jett

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