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Wedding Dress Chaos

I had originally thought that I could schedule an appointment at a wedding dress shop, actually talk to the clerk, calmly discuss what styles and wants/don’t wants I have, and then pick out a handful of dresses that fit my answers.  Not so!!

When I walked in, I was overwhelmed by the crowd, the noise, and the chaos of it all.  Apparently today was a “slow day,” and that many weekends the place has double the occupants it had today.  Anybody that knows me will know that I can get distracted by crowds, being one of those weird people-watchers. Hehe.

The moment we began, I was told I was really cutting it close, and I should probably consider deciding today.  Also, what do I want in a dress?  She spoke a mile a minute.  The only really kind thing was that she promised that she wouldn’t choose dresses that were over my budget.  Snap decisions aren’t really my thing, especially for something as important to me as a wedding dress, so it was troubling when the clerk said I was essentially out of time.  Things like that have a tendency to shut me down, so I might have gotten really stoic and said “forget it” if it weren’t for Caroline and Brie there.  They helped me stay focused, they were known faces I could focus on and try to block out the crowd.  I still got distracted easily – every time a woman finds “the one,” they are given a bell to ring.  I don’t know why, it’s their schtick.  It happened three times while we were there, in four hours.  That’s a pretty good “THE dress” per hour average, I suppose.

She was at least impressed with my level of preparedness.  While I didn’t have my own strapless bra (I had tried to get one that morning, but the only store nearby didn’t have any), I did bring a slip, lower-body shapewear, a light robe, a bottle of water, low heels, a travel-sized bottle of baby powder, and a hand towel.  I only needed the heels and the hand towel, and chugged the water afterward.  Despite the time being brief, it was high-energy and exhausting, and I could feel myself breaking into a heavy sweat at the end of it all.

We only used a half hour of the hour-and-a-half time I was allotted for my appointment, but I tried on three dresses.  All three were very different. The first dress I tried on was what I called a Disney princess dress. It was nice, but there was something I didn’t really prefer about it. The third dress I tried on looked something like this.  This isn’t the exact dress, but I can’t seem to find it on their website.  Brie and Caroline immediately said “no,” and we didn’t even take photographs of it.  It was plain, it did nothing for my curves.  I was simply a column of white.  I suppose someone would look fabulous in that gown, but it wasn’t me.  We did get a nice laugh out of it though – I struck a pose and said “Dost mother know thou wearest her drapes??”  Iron Man quotes while trying on wedding dresses for the win!

You’ve probably noticed I’ve skipped describing the second dress.  That’s because I am 90% sure that that is “the one.”  I’ve already risked the wrath of the wedding gods by showing photos to my fiance, so I will not share it with the entire world just yet.


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